I remember the sensation of abject terror; fluttering heart and shaking legs as I looked over the valley. Once I felt steady, I pushed the edge of fear even more, and closed my eyes. There was comfort in the familiar sound of my breath, settling my heart and bringing me to the place of knowing that I was so much more than the frail vessel poised on the edge of the cliff. If my body had fallen, my soul was prepared to fly.
A few months later I began the process of moving into my new home in Little Rock, Arkansas. Alone. It was time to learn to fly solo.
In December, as I was starting to settle in, my titanium hip implant broke while I was brushing my teeth. I had revision surgery, spent nine weeks using a walker, and started carefully rebuilding strength and flexibility. It was a time of forced grounding and nesting. My wings were healing.
Steve and I have dissolved our marriage. We do so with sadness, but also love and support for each other, I am in his home in Alabama as I write this. He stayed with me during my surgery recovery, I helped him move into his new home. We are friends.
Next week , I’ll begin the legal process to change my last name.
Michelle Ray was the name I used for so many years, the name so many know me by, the surname of my children. And the last name of my former husband. Because that is the way it works for women. Fathers name. Husbands name. I don’t like those choices
Michelle Rae is the name I choose.
Choice. Freedom. Growth. Learning. Those are the themes for this chapter as it begins.
A new blog will be coming. A new Etsy shop is in the works. So many possibilities!