THIS POST WAS ORIGINALLY PUBLISHED IN 2014.
Happy Mothers Day. Cards and gifts, flowers and celebration.
I miss my mom.
So it’s been kind of bittersweet. The joy of being a mother, coupled with the reality that I’m now one of the many who will not hear their mom’s voice on this day.
I have friends who are celebrating their first Mothers Day as a mom. I remember that feeling. I see the threads of love wrapping around them, creating a cocoon of safety and love for their child. As my mom did for me. As I did for my kids. Unconditional love.
No matter how old I get, when I’m down or feeling sick I want my mommy. I want to crawl into her lap so she can rock me. I want that feeling of love and security, of peace, that I always got when my mom wrapped her arms around me.
It used to be easy to capture that feeling. I could meet her, or go to her house, walk up to her and put my arms around her. There was never a hesitation, her arms wrapped me in love and acceptance without a word being spoken. I would take a deep breath of that special smell that was a combination of so many things, instantly recognizable.
It’s harder, but less complicated now to talk to my mom and get that hug. I have to dig deep into memories to recapture those feelings. But I don’t have to pick up a phone or get in the car. I close my eyes, take a deep breath and feel my mom’s love all through me. Because that is where my mom is now, a part of me, a part of my soul.
Michelle Rae 
4 thoughts on “Mothers Day Without Mom”
tracey campbell
Mike met me this morning and we put flowers on her grave. She was a wonderful woman and is missed all the time. Mike said this morning, “if you don’t miss her, you just didn’t care”. True. I miss my morning phone calls to her, and how sometimes she would call me and say, ” oh! Why did I call you? Never mind, I’ll call you back later when I remember.” I miss her “Bette Midler” swish when she walked, and how we never quite knew what color her hair was going to be because she colored it in the kitchen sink. Lots of wonderful memories of her that I will never forget
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Michelle Ray Cox
You described her perfectly Tracey. How about the time she called you to see if she was supposed to have lunch with you. She wasn’t sure which of us she had agreed to meet. And it was me…
Love her so much.
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Tracey Campbell
It is hard, but oh the memories we have of her!!!
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Michelle Ray Cox
Yep. So much laughter with that lady!
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