Michelle Ray Cox

A personal blog
Michelle Ray Cox
  • About Michelle Ray Cox
  • Tag: Colorado

    • Are you living the life you chose?

      Posted at 5:43 pm by Michelle Ray Cox, on October 7, 2016

      One cold December night I hosted a Christmas party at my house in Little Rock.  One of my friends arrived at the door in a sweater over her party dress.  It was bitterly cold.  I asked “it’s freezing outside, where is your coat?”  She smiled and explained that she had three boys and they needed stuff, so she was going without a coat that year.

      I was hanging out with a group of women that were into “stuff”.  Not the “stuff” like warm coats and cars to get to work, but expensive “stuff”.  We would have lunch and ooh and aah over the new diamond bracelet, or the new Mercedes.  There was disdain over a fox fur coat, and even mink.   Sable was what was desired.  The love of friends and husbands was shown by gifts, and those gifts had a hefty price tag.

      I am ashamed to say I got caught up in that.  I had a Christmas list that year that read like the Neiman Marcus catalog.

      My friend standing on my front porch with a genuine, not self pitying smile, while she cheerfully told me she could not afford a winter coat was like a splash of needed cold water.  I had a closet full of coats, yet still I wanted, “needed” more?

      She left that night with a warm coat.  She left that night haven given me one of the most important gifts of my life; the understanding that THINGS are not what is important.

      I’ve lived in a mobile home.  I’ve lived in a 10,000 sq ft mansion.  I cried tears in both.  I’ve owned a 1964 Volkswagen bug that I had to push to get started on a regular basis.  I’ve also owned a Porsche and numerous BMW’s.   NONE OF THOSE THINGS MADE ME HAPPY.  And none of those things are still in my life now.

      I now understand that the valuable gifts are not things.  They are people, love, laughter, experiences.  They are what give me joy that cannot tarnish or breakdown.

      I see the sunrise and sunsets reflecting on my Colorado mountains.

      I ride my heart horse Bali with friends old and new on a perfect crisp fall day.  I notice the sun sparkling  of the creek we cross, and I see the trout darting through the crystal clear water.  I hear the laughter of my friends as they fight their way through the trees because I accidentally led them off the path.  Hugs and smiles as we part at the end of the ride.

      I sit on my deck, bundled in a coat and blanket, drinking coffee with new friends from Germany.  They are riveted by the night sky full of starts, which they havent seen in 20 years because of the light pollution in their city.   Think about that.  We gave them their first ride in a truck and their first ride in a Wrangler.  They were full of joy and awe as we drove Shelf Road through fall leaves as they stood in the back seat taking pictures.  Peter and Magda popped into my life unexpectedly (thank you Helene) and I am so grateful for the gift of time spent with them.

      My children are smart, funny, loving human beings.

      Not only does my husband love me, but we get to share our love for horses, riding and adventure.  He always, always says “great!” when I tell him more people are coming to stay with us.

      Then there is my “Tribe”.  There is something magical about finding those people that just really “get” you.  There is no negativity, no backbiting, no jealousy.   Just love, support, acceptance and lots of laughter.  I had that with my peeps in Little Rock.  It wasn’t so easy to find after our move to Colorado but I sure have it now.

      I don’t take these things for granted.  I am so very aware of how short life is.  I’ve lost friends this year to death.  I’ve cried while hearing about the loss of a child or a beloved pet.  There are people hurting because of fire, hurricanes, tornadoes, loss of a job, loss of a relationship.   Sickness, hardship, death, hurt.  All of those have been in my past.  Many will be in my future.

      Being aware of my gifts, appreciating them, gives me the strength to get through those tough times.  I CHOOSE to emphasize the good in each day.   I CHOOSE to see the best in my friends, and to move into an outer circle those that want to drag me down.  I CHOOSE to savor the many little things that can bring a smile.

      Now don’t think I’m all rainbows and unicorns.  I get frustrated.  I get hurt.  I get angry.  But I’m finding that if I am aware of all that I have to be grateful for, its easier to get over the bumps.  So every single day I breath deep and am grateful.

      We went to a Jason Isbell concert at Red Rocks a few weeks ago.  Talk about a gift to really savor; sitting in that venue on a perfect Colorado night is about as good as it gets.  He played one of my favorite songs that includes these words:

      Are you living the life you chose? Or are you living the life that chose you?

      I smiled through tears.

      I’m so lucky to be living the life I choose.

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      Posted in Aging, Life | 0 Comments | Tagged Colorado, Jason Isbell, Red Rock Amphitheater, relationships
    • THE THING ABOUT FACEBOOK….

      Posted at 11:38 pm by Michelle Ray Cox, on July 29, 2012

      I know a lot of people that really dislike Facebook. OK, I get that. Maybe it’s not for you.
      Facebook is like alcohol. Some people can use it wisely and get good benefits; others are going to be stupid and irresponsible. It’s like Steve always says, you can’t fix stupid.
      When I moved to Colorado two years ago I did not know a single person.
      So picture my first couple of months in Colorado. I’m using the GPS every single day because I don’t know where anything is. I get to choose between Colorado Springs, Canon City and Pueblo to shop in because there is nothing in Penrose. We have a library, an elementary school, a bank, a VFW and three medical marijuana stores. And a Kwik Stop.
      Those first few months were difficult. I’d uprooted my life, moved across the country, and I didn’t know a soul. Other than Steve, the only conversations I had were telling people hello and thank you while checking out in stores.
      It would have been very easy to feel lost and alone. It would have been very easy to try to cling to my friends and family in Little Rock and pester the hell out of them with phone calls, text messages and emails.
      Facebook helped with the transition. Even though I’ve now got roots here in Colorado and consider this my home, Facebook still keeps me connected those I left behind in Little Rock.
      I have an easy going correspondence with our friends the Brakes in Great Britain through FB. Mandy keeps up with what is going on in my life as I do with her. Although I do post a lot more than she does so I have to email her sometimes to get the real scoop.
      Several years ago I reconnected with one of my old boyfriends from high school. He was single, I was single, sounds like the beginning of a love story doesn’t it? Well it is, but maybe not the way you think. I’d also reconnected with my friend Susie, also from high school, that dated the same guy pretty seriously after he and I broke up. I told them about each other and they got together. He moved from Alaska to Florida to be with her, and as far as I know they are still together today.
      How cool is that?
      There is a whole group of people I went to high school with that are scattered all over the country. I get to keep up with them, see pictures of their family without going to a high school reunion.
      When my friend Leslie and her daughter Anna Kate came out at the beginning of the summer, she cracked me up when she walked through the house. She kept saying…”I recognize this from your pictures on Facebook”. When we talked about what to do and where to go, she had a good idea because she read my FB posts when others came to visit.

      I know when my sister Tracey is having a bad day and maybe needs a phone call from her big sis. I also know when she and Terry are camping and trying to make a phone call would be a waste of time. I know what is going on with my nieces and nephew much more now than I ever did when I was living in Little Rock. I get a lot of detail about my daughter Kat’s life because of Facebook. Would I get the same amount of detail if we talked on the phone every day? Maybe, but we are both really busy and we don’t, and never have, talk on the phone every day.
      Steve reconnected with some of his former co workers on Facebook. Because of that reconnection, Randy and Kathy Finch, along with their son Andrew, stayed with us for a week this month. These are some really cool people that I would have never met if it had not been for Facebook. And of course we are now all FB friends and I can keep up with what is going in their lives back in Alabama. Next time Steve and I are in Florence we will for sure get in touch with them.
      A big part of my life was martial arts. I stay in touch with those friends through Facebook. I got to see pictures of my friend of 35 years Jim Robinson test for his 7th degree. I couldn’t be there, but seeing the pictures and video was a pretty good consolation prize.
      A couple of years ago this person named Diana Hampo sent a friend request to me. I didn’t know her, but we had a lot of mutual friends involved in martial arts so I accepted the request. Turns out she is about my age, lives in Hot Springs, and is taking Taekwondo with my old instructor Jim Robinson. I started reading her blog, and really liked the way she thinks. We had a few short conversations through Facebook, then she had knee surgery so really had some stuff in common. We have since had several phone conversations and I consider her a friend. She has been invited to visit us and I hope she will take me up on that because I think we would have a blast.
      Of course there is a down side to Facebook. There are some people that are negative and complain all the darn time, or are terminally boring. You know what? I just hide their posts. I been contacted by a couple of people that I don’t want to have anything to do with. Just block them. Easy to do.
      I don’t know what social media will be like in the next ten years. I’m sure it won’t stay the way it is. There is talk about FB not being “cool” because some of us old folks are on it and that bothers the young people. I’m not thrilled with Google+ or LinkedIn, but I’m sure there are a lot of smart people out there working on the “New Facebook”. Whatever they come up with, I’ll be open minded.

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      Posted in Life | 0 Comments | Tagged Colorado, Diana Hampo, Facebook, Jim Robinson, Katherine King, Kathy Finch, Leslie Herrington, Mandy Brake, penrose, Randy Finch, Steve Cox, Tracey Campbell
    • LAUREN KILLED FRANK THE SNAKE

      Posted at 6:58 pm by Michelle Ray Cox, on June 20, 2012

      Last summer I just about had a heart attack when I met Frank The Snake for the first time. I was home by myself, puttering around in the garden. I went over to the faucet to turn off the water and saw the water hose move. Except it wasn’t a water hose. It was a great big snake. Since he didn’t rear up and start rattling at me, I assumed it was a bull snake. I knew if I could get a good picture of it Steve would be able to tell me what kind of snake it was.
      Well I wasn’t going to get close enough to get a good picture with my phone. So I hightailed it into the house to get Steve’s Nikon. This is one of the photo’s I took.

      Frank the Snake


      So I emailed the photo to Steve and the phone rang immediately.
      “That’s a good snake. Don’t kill it. I know you don’t believe there are good snakes, but that is a bull snake and they eat rattlesnakes. Actually I’m glad it’s there. It’s a good snake. Don’t kill it.”
      You have to get close to a snake to kill it. I had absolutely no intention of getting close enough to that snake to kill it.
      A friend of mine told me that putting a name to the snake would make it seem less scary. I assumed it was a boy snake so I named it Frank.
      Believe me when I tell you that I never walked in that yard without keeping an eye out for Frank. But I didn’t see him again.
      A month or so later, my brother Michael and his two kids Paul and Lauren were staying with us. We were sitting out on the deck, getting ready to eat dinner when Lauren said
      “Aunt Michelle, is that a rattlesnake?”
      Immediately my feet went up into the chair, which caused Steve to about fall over laughing. But there was a snake coming towards us. ON MY DECK. Now my deck is anywhere from five to ten feet off the ground, depending on what part of the yard you are measuring from. There is one set of stairs. That darn snake had to really work at climbing to get up on our deck.
      Steve looked over at it and said, “Oh, that’s just a bull snake. He won’t hurt you.”
      I think he could tell by the look on my face that I wasn’t really excited about sharing the deck with a six foot long snake. I think he could tell I was seriously considering sitting on the table for the rest of dinner.
      So he got some work gloves and went over and got that poor little guy out from behind the water barrel on the end of the deck.
      All of the family except me went over to get a closer look. I was very comfortable where I was, with close proximity to the table and the door inside.
      Here is a video of Steve and Frank The Snake.

      After he played with him a while, he took him down off the deck and let him loose in the pasture. As he was walking by, I heard him telling Frank “It’s ok little buddy, its ok”.
      We haven’t seen Frank this year. We did have a neighbor kill a rattlesnake on the road in front of our house. It’s really hot and dry here, and we know that there are a lot of snakes around. We watch where we put our hands and feet.
      Michael is back again, all of his kids, plus his new wife Patty and her daughter Taylor. Mike and Patty are still on their honeymoon, so the kids and I are hanging out. They were still asleep this morning so I made a run into Colorado Springs to replenish our supplies at Costco.
      While I was gone, Lauren went out into the pasture to walk around. She saw a snake, a really big snake. It was hissing at Mojo The Pug. So Lauren decided to kill it. She was being protective of Mojo. So she got a shovel and hacked his head almost off.
      I’m pretty sure Lauren killed Frank. It looks like the same snake to me. I haven’t heard back from Steve yet, I sent him the picture. Lauren’s scared he will be mad at her, but I think her actions were totally justified.
      She had to protect Mojo.

      Dead Frank The Snake

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      Posted in Uncategorized | 0 Comments | Tagged bull snakes, Colorado, penrose, snakes
    • New Year’s Day Hiking

      Posted at 12:10 am by Michelle Ray Cox, on January 3, 2012

      One of my favorite things to do in Little Rock was climb Pinnacle Mountain and run around the base trail. My love affair with Pinnacle began when I started the UBBT (Ultimate Black Belt Test) in 2009. One of the requirements of the test was participation in an Eco Adventure which would involve a lot a hiking. While I was pretty good at gym conditioning, I had not done a lot of outdoor hiking. I had to overcome some fears about heights and falling to my death, but with a lot of persistence and some encouragement from Steve I got there.

      On New Year’s Day in 2010 we climbed Pinnacle with a few of my TKD students and Keely.

      Yesterday, New Year’s Day 2012 found us in Red Rock Canyon. What a contrast to just two years before. We now live in Colorado and cannot believe how lucky we are to call this beautiful state home. Keely has become much more experienced at hiking and climbing and she doesn’t whine much at all. I don’t feel like crawling on all fours instead of walking when the rocks get steep. We have done some really fabulous hikes all over the country but there really wasn’t great areas close to home.

      Of course some things are not going to change. Keely and Steve are still going to scare the crap out of me getting way to close to the edge of a cliff with a 600 foot drop. I’m not ever going to be the chick on the TV commercial that wants to climb that needle-like rock a gazillion feet in the air.

      My surgeon told me when I had hip replacement that I would never be able to run again. That didn’t really upset me; running has never been my thing even when I was doing 40 miles a week. I just thought it was plain boring really.
      Then I found that I loved running the base trails at Pinnacle. For some reason trail running doesn’t make my hip feel like it’s coming out of its socket like running on pavement does. I love the challenge of dodging rocks, jumping over obstacles, ducking under branches, knowing that if I fall it is going to hurt like hell. There were some trails around here that were ok…but nothing really great.

      I haven’t found a place I connected with like Pinnacle Mountain until yesterday.

      This New Year’s Day we found Red Rock Canyon (thank you Paula!) Rock Canyon is breathtaking, similar to Garden of the Gods but without the tourists. We spent three hours there yesterday, Keely in tow and joined by Steve’s coworker Mark. There are lots of dirt roads and trails, and beautiful red rock formations to climb. The park is huge and the terrain is varied, and it’s just outside of Canon City.

      I am in heaven

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      Posted in Uncategorized | 1 Comment | Tagged Canon City, Colorado, hiking, Red Rock Canyon, UBBT
    • Buying Half A Pig

      Posted at 3:20 am by Michelle Ray Cox, on May 12, 2011

      Yes, we are buying half a pig. My friend Paula asked if we wanted to share a pig with her and Kurt. It’s been raised without hormones. Looking at the blank look on my face (she gets that a lot from me) she explained that we would be sharing the finished product after it had been butchered. Oh. Well sure, sounds good. We’ve got room in the freezer. So tomorrow I call the guy that butchers the pig to tell him what we want. That’s a first for me, sharing a pig.

      Paula also introduced me to her chickens a couple of weeks ago, much to Steve’s chagrin. Now I’ve got the place picked out in the backyard, all we need is a chicken house and pen. And the chickens.

      Steve grew up on a real farm in Alabama, and he is definitely not a fan of chickens. It’s a case of familiarity breeds contempt I think. I grew up in the country with two dyed in the wool city slickers for parents and have never retrieved an egg from the source. We have agreed to give it a try. Keely is excited, and I can’t wait to see her face when she goes out to gather eggs for the first time.

      So chickens are in our future. I’ve got some decisions to make, like how many and what kind. I’ll be talking to Paula, my expert on all the cool stuff that comes with living in Southern Colorado. I’ll keep you posted.

      Posted in Uncategorized | 0 Comments | Tagged chickens, Colorado, pigs
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