I like to say that I don’t do things by half measures. But that is not true. If I am honest the last few years were half measured living. Not bad, and there were adventures and laughter and travel. But inside, in my head and heart, I was treading water. I stopped writing blogs because I had nothing to say. I wasn’t growing, discovering, thinking. I was stuck in a rut.
Facebook came into my life ten years ago as a way to promote my martial arts school, as well as connect and stay connected with friends. It seemed pretty straightforward and innocuous. Innocent and fun.
That is not what it is today. At least not for me. It certainly isn’t innocent. And the fun? Sure there are cute animals, babies, sunsets. But there is an insidious addiction too. A dark kind of fun, the ranting and raving, diving into the dark underbelly of what people stand for that is now being brought to light through political posts, arguments about religion and all the other rhetoric that has no bounds. I judge people without really knowing them. Because of a meme. Because of their political affiliation. I’ve felt disgust, even down right hatred. Anger raises its ugly head over and over on a daily basis.
In meditation, we try to clear the “monkey brain”. The incessant chatter of the childish and yammering consciousness that pollutes our thinking. By shushing the chatter we can go deep and start to find a different way not just of thinking, but seeing ourselves, others, and the world. Facebook is that monkey brain chatter throughout my day.
Moving to a new place opens up lots of possibilities. The soul feeding beauty of Pagosa Springs has given me space to look at myself closely and challenged me to develop new habits for individual growth. I knew that I was stagnant in Penrose, in a rut and bored. I was aging, but not growing. With the drumbeat of getting older came a sense of urgency about how I was going to live this last chapter.
With a warrior mentality from my lifetime of martial arts as well as careers in male dominated business, my instinct has been to fight. Push. Never back down. Attack.
That Michelle developed the skills she needed to be successful and survive. I’m proud of the accomplishments I achieved. But I don’t want to be that person anymore. It is not that she was bad, or at fault, it’s just that I want to explore other aspects of me, and life.
Enter yoga. I’ve gradually, kicking and screaming, incorporated yoga into my daily life. I’ve had a love/hate relationship with yoga for ten years first trying it just for asana, the physical aspects of yoga. Then over the last year starting to dig into the spiritual aspects of the practice, the “joining” that elevates yoga from stretching exercises to a way of looking at myself, others, and the world.
It’s not easy, the process of shifting your thinking, emotions, and reactions. It’s not easy looking deep within yourself and being honest. No excuses or “they made me do it”. I journal. Read. Study. Meditate. All in an effort to take myself to a higher level of living and understanding myself, others, and the world.
I realize that I hang on to so many things that I don’t need. Attachment. Old patterns, old emotions of resentment, hurt, anger. Old cycles of reaction. I need some peace and calm to get rid of all of that to make space for new. I need blocks of time for positive. I need to clear that monkey chatter.
So I’m going to say goodbye to Facebook for a while. I haven’t decided if I will deactivate the account, I’m going to leave it dormant for now. I will continue to blog at https://noodlingaround.blog/ and https://michelleraycox.com/. I hope you will consider following the blogs and interacting with me there. Steve will still be active.
My email is michelleraycox@gmail.com. Email me. If you don’t have my phone number, Email me and I’ll send it to you. I haven’t decided yet about Messenger but I will be turning off notifications and checking it rather than reacting to the alert. I’m doing the same with news alerts. I’ll choose when and how I spend my time in a conscious manner, not in a reactive way.
This has been something I have thought deeply about. I have friends on Facebook that I love, I look forward to their interaction with me every day. I enjoy seeing kids grow up, and hearing about all of the joys and excitement of others lives. That I will miss. That is what has kept me coming back every day.
I’m looking forward to the silence. I’m also dreading it.
14 thoughts on “Goodbye Facebook”
Catherine McKinnis
I applaud your decision, Michelle!
Bravo! I’ll miss your face 💕
LikeLike
Michelle Ray Cox
Thank you my friend! I have loved your happy posts. I’ll miss your face too!
LikeLike
Rhonda Seth
Be well my friend. You are a fabulous woman and a tremendous human being.
LikeLike
Michelle Ray Cox
Thank you my friend. Love you so much. I never really knew you in “real life”. But because of Facebook I have gotten to know you. We disagree on politics yet we remain respectful friends. I treasure that with you.
LikeLike
Joseph E. Botwinick
Michelle,
You’re a top-notch person whom I am proud to have known. I appreciate you and hope the very best for you in life. We don’t have to agree with each other on religion and politics in order to be friends and respect and appreciate each other. If everyone spent less time on social media and more time having face to face conversations with each other, I think we would be able to find more common ground, respect, and appreciation for each other. I applaud your decision and will probably continue to follow you here from time to time as I have time.
Respectfully,
Joseph Botwinick
LikeLike
Michelle Ray Cox
Thank you so much Joe. It’s that face to face, or even just direct email or phone calls that I miss. I will always treasure the times we had, the talks. You and Glenda have been an important part of my life.
LikeLike
Beth Perez
Michelle Cox I will miss sharing the adventures you’ve shared on fb. I am excited to follow your blogs! Please stay in touch. Love you girl.
LikeLike
Michelle Ray Cox
Love you too Beth! Hopefully the adventures will continue so please follow the blogs. Would love to see you and Boris, give me a call let’s catch up!
LikeLike
Dennis Oxley
Sorry to hear you’re leaving. I get it though. For the most part, we’re getting a horrible view of humanity thru the Facebook lens. Take a break and re-energize. I’m still waiting for some kind of notification that the leader of the hate mongering is dead or gone. Then, I can go back to more enjoyable pursuits on social media.
LikeLike
Michelle Ray Cox
So many people are struggling with all of this right now Dennis. This view of humanity is not pretty, it’s really pretty scary. I’m not putting my head in the sand, but I need a break. I’m not saying I won’t post anything political, I may. But I’m just not willing to wallow in all of this anymore. Huge blocks of time to no purpose. There are better ways to spend time. For me.
I value your friendship and insights Dennis.
LikeLike
Laurie L Brennan
Sorry to see you leave, my eyes have been opened because of you. I have felt a kindness and caring from you that I have not felt for many years. Your understanding and trust is a gift . . and the break bread at your table will never be forgotten . . Bye for now I guess and will try to connect when I or Lisa and I come through your way . . ❤
LikeLike
Michelle Ray Cox
Laurie, You are very special to me. I’m not going anywhere, I’m just not playing on FB. Email is michelleraycox@gmail.com.
You know about my blogs, If you follow them you will know when I post. I always look forward to your comments and take on things. I hope you will continue.
Love you and your fighting spirit.
LikeLike
ogailf
Michelle I will miss seeing your post and all of the beautiful pictures that you share. I can certainly understand the need for solitude and stepping away from all the opinions that get expressed on FB without consideration to how those opinions affect others. I would love to be able to walk out my door and get on a horse but it won’t happen so I guess I live a little bit of that through your experiences. I will follow your blogs and please get in contact when you are going to be in AR and have the time for a visit. Love you girl!
LikeLike
Michelle Ray Cox
Gail you assessed the situation very well. I’m still around, and hopefully we can interact with the blogs and you are absolutely on the list of people to call when we are back in LR. Love you.
LikeLike